Big Questions from the Young #8: What happens when I die?

Eighth: “Why did my friend die? What happens when I die?”

The young man was very sick. His school friends had prayed for him. The church prayed for him. The fast-acting cancer was relentless. After several months of treatment with notes, visits, and ongoing prayer from friends, he died. It still did not seem real to his young friends until they gathered around the casket. I watched the scene. The message that he was gone from this earth hit home as his body was buried.

Mortality questions are hard to ignore when they are in your face. It’s not that different with adults, but processing death or loss as a young person is not always simple or short.

A young girl visited my new wife. Her questions were skirting an issue that finally became the center of a second meeting and talk. “I miss her so much. I love you, but I miss her so much.” They cried together, because both loved my late wife. On the same mission trip, a visiting and seasoned missionary kept bringing up ‘this is the way it was’ when my late wife was present. It almost caused a breech in the relationship with the missionary. Again, death had not been dealt with by the adult, though time had passed and the missionary supposedly knew better.

The loss of a friend and the unknown about what happens when we die should be answered honestly but gently. Moving on (after a death) can be hard, even when a believing friend dies. Some have difficulty embracing a death. It’s no wonder that many young people have a hard time with the situation, especially if their relationship with Christ is not firm. Nevertheless, the answers are not complicated. The Bible deals with the subject quite often. So we gently repeat the basics. Why gently? Grief is a sensitive topic and can be a little different for everyone.

If you know Christ, death on this earth is not the end. If a believer dies, he will be with Christ. The Bible uses a simple analogy of a seed as a picture of this life. If a seed falls into the ground and dies, a living plant comes forth. If the believer dies, the death is real but eternal life follows. Even one of the thieves on the cross asks Christ to remember him. Christ responds, saying that day the thief, who had a change in heart toward God, would be in paradise with him that day (Luke 22:42-43).

A person’s death does not remove some of the effects of the loss for those still living, but the context is comforting. What is the guarantee of this larger context? Christ was raised from the dead, and our trust in Him as Savior can raise us also.

The central question for those unsure of where they stand as believers is always, “Do you know Him?” Like most questions about life, this core question goes back to the Gospel, which is the good news of Jesus Christ and the Kingdom of God. We go back to the Bible and repeat the truths as often as we need to. But it’s not just reading statements, though they are true. We must be sensitive to the person we address. We hold them close, providing comfort as we can because He comforted us.

What about a child dying, or someone whom you do not know ever met Christ in a personal way? Talking to believers, we remind them that God knows everything, so He knows the posture or intent of every soul – no matter how young, old, healthy, sick, successful, unsuccessful, or where they live. He knows. He is a personal God, all knowing, does not make mistakes, and his judgements are without error, whether we know all the details or not.

Many portions of the Bible speak of death, resurrection, and eternal life. Reading and considering them unhurriedly is highly recommended for those who do not have a firm hope in the reality of eternal life. The verses put human death in perspective. For the unbeliever, we recommend turning to follow the Living God, who can save you, change your walk in this life, and give you eternal life. This removes the permanence of death and is the solution to deal with the fear of it.

A few recommended verses in the Bible: John 6:26-27, 30-31; John 3:16-21; Luke 18:18-30; Matthew 22:23-32; Romans 5, 1 Corinthians 15

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