Big Questions from the young #1: When relationships are not good, what can I do?
Less than a year ago I asked a group of young people in a Christian school about their biggest questions about themselves, the world around them, and God. I asked them to write them but not give their names. The plan was to answer some of them in a second session, but the session was shortened to 15 minutes, so I had to take a broad approach. Many of the questions, if viewed together, showed a lack of peace about relationships or the fear of losing ones that were important to them. Some mentioned they are afraid of not being appreciated by others, left alone, or failing. The questions showed a weakness or lack of relationship with God that the Bible says is primary and affects all others.
So, our short answer to them was a simple truth: we need to know God, because this is the critical relationship with the One who made us. That relationship puts peace in our hearts and becomes the foundation to deal better with other relationships. As I said to them, when a relationship with God is right, there can be more peace in challenging circumstances with people. It also helps when there are fears about losing important relationships, because the one with God, if sound, does not change or disappear.
It is surprising how many young children can recognize that things are broken among many relationships, whether it is with each other, parents, or groups. They are frequently upset because disturbed relationships affect them. They can even look fine on the outside, but many of their questions show a lack of peace. Relationship situations arise that shake little ones. Aren’t most of us like that, even when we get older?
Thus, we encouraged them to know the One who is Peace. After all, He is the One who wants us to know that He loves us and cares for us. Above everything, He wants a relationship with us. No wonder, then, that Jesus would make this statement in Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Coming to Christ is at the core of the Good News and knowing Him establishes this most critical relationship.
Of course, general answers in one abbreviated session are not enough. That is why, when we work with orphans or those who feel stranded and alone, we try draw them close, get to know them, keep our door open for them, hug them whenever there is opportunity, and keep in touch – even if we are a world away. It does not mean they all turn to Christ, but many do as we explain and show an example that a relationship with Him is so important. It settles so many things when relationships around them have challenges.
