There are times when I get on a mission with a schedule, and those things begin driving the train. The last few weeks have been like that for me and led to a common revelation: I sin. The fertile ground of a garden in spring starts with nice rains and pleasant weather while the seed pushes up pretty quickly, but just behind it are the arrivals of little weeds that get nourished by the same weather. It does not take long for them to become an interference, and you have to deal with them.
So, likewise, I rediscovered weeds in my heart. Conversation from me was getting to business like, too much in a hurry, and too sharp. The multitude of tasks and changes are no excuse. Little pressures and schedule serve to accent the wrong attitudes which eventually begin to show up in how I am doing tasks and treating people. Thank God he used them to put a mirror in front of me before too long. I saw the weeds at a pretty early stage, but that does not lessen the sin. The obvious has to be done: repent, bow low to the One that helped reveal the matter, and reset some things. In the process, I had to say “sorry” to my fiancée, who got to see little stresses make my mistakes plain. No surprise.
In the middle of the night I got a news text about persecuted Christians that shed a little more light by showing how petty my little stresses are compared to brothers and sisters in much more dire circumstances. There is no excuse for me, no matter how much of life seems to be uncomfortably changing at once. But just like Spring weeding in a garden, if you take care of these things, fruit develops properly and it pays off to deal with the weeds as soon as you discover them. Christ paid the ultimate price that we have a solution to deal with sin.
“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love, according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions” Psalm 51:1