Irritations.  Small irritations.  When my controlled world is shaken undone, I become irritated … even on the mission field.

“Where is the plastic bag for our dirty clothes?”  I remembered to pack it so things would be organized.  The plastic bag for my dirty shoes is missing, also.  The contents of neatly packed luggage are shuffled to accommodate curriculum and fossils. Sometimes, possessions get into someone else’s care, and what matters to me – the small stuff – gets misplaced. 

My gratitude wears thin as I find the water is shut off, there is no toilet seat in this one – or paper.  There is no top sheet for my twin bunk bed, and I’m unable to touch the chest of the man that brings me almost instant peace and sleep.  There is no fan in the humid room, and the air conditioner stays on cold – really cold.  Turn on.  Turn off.  All night.

The Brita filters I brought over are now the home of a colony of ants.  Really?  Why my Brita filters?

 Language and cultural barriers are a constant challenge. I just want to hear, if only for a few minutes, the voices of my loves and grand loves half a globe away.

I am lonely for the night sky where God speaks to me under the stars.  Almost daily rain and cloud cover obscure my gaze. My eyes spill out my irritations and my longing heart cries out to the One who sees me.  His voice gently reminds me how much I need Him – His comfort – His encouragement to keep my eyes and heart focused toward the goal.  He reminds me that the star-filled heaven is still there. Even when I cannot see, He sees. And…He still speaks to me. 

“Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance, and my God.” Psalm 42:11 NKJV

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  1. Oh dear Faylene I’m sure every lady out here feels exactly what you are feeling. Boy are you right God is still right there looking down and loving us all the more. I do admire you and your horrific God given strength to keep on getting on in the midst of these so annoying happenings. You are in my prayers lovely lady 🙏❤️

    Jeannie Gentry

  2. Alice Taylor Sharrock

    Faylene, I know exactly how you feel. Have been there myself so many times. Nothing familiar, all the preparations upset or missing, so many unexpected challenges to face on the field, far from all whom you love. I am so glad you are finding comfort where you need to find it, in God’s Word. He will guide you into a routine that will become your new normal.

    (Be thankful the ants are in your Brita, not advancing in the thousands through your bed at 1AM like we had in Haiti LOL. Not to minimize your challenges and irritations…)

  3. You are awesome Faylene and I admire you for your truthfulness. We all go through tough times but sometimes it feels like iit s to much. I many times remind God I have already done this .I think that is enough sometime I can fly through tough things and say God just took me over it all and then other times I just weep and say where are you God I m weary and tired.the crazy thing God was there all those times. I love 💕 you and lift you up may the clouds lift and the peace flow .you are one of Gods anointed ones .may his angels song over you and watch over you

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