Irritations. Small irritations. When my controlled world is shaken undone, I become irritated … even on the mission field.
“Where is the plastic bag for our dirty clothes?” I remembered to pack it so things would be organized. The plastic bag for my dirty shoes is missing, also. The contents of neatly packed luggage are shuffled to accommodate curriculum and fossils. Sometimes, possessions get into someone else’s care, and what matters to me – the small stuff – gets misplaced.
My gratitude wears thin as I find the water is shut off, there is no toilet seat in this one – or paper. There is no top sheet for my twin bunk bed, and I’m unable to touch the chest of the man that brings me almost instant peace and sleep. There is no fan in the humid room, and the air conditioner stays on cold – really cold. Turn on. Turn off. All night.
The Brita filters I brought over are now the home of a colony of ants. Really? Why my Brita filters?
Language and cultural barriers are a constant challenge. I just want to hear, if only for a few minutes, the voices of my loves and grand loves half a globe away.
I am lonely for the night sky where God speaks to me under the stars. Almost daily rain and cloud cover obscure my gaze. My eyes spill out my irritations and my longing heart cries out to the One who sees me. His voice gently reminds me how much I need Him – His comfort – His encouragement to keep my eyes and heart focused toward the goal. He reminds me that the star-filled heaven is still there. Even when I cannot see, He sees. And…He still speaks to me.
“Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance, and my God.” Psalm 42:11 NKJV